


i'll give you my best side (tell you all my best lies)

by romanholigay



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Because I DO WHAT I WANT, Established Relationship, F/F, Genderswap, Insecure Richie, They're Both Lesbians, in this one, once again, sad face, they're like 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:01:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanholigay/pseuds/romanholigay
Summary: “the, um, blackheads on my nose. i have acne scars on my cheeks that can only be covered by concealer, and my hair is dry and too wavy. i have to straighten it to look nice,” richie rambles. “i’ve got pale skin, really pale skin, and my nose has a bump right in the middle. i think it’s that european descent thing.”“richie—,”she continues, “—my teeth are crooked, and they’re not as white as they could be. the top two are buck teeth, right? that’s what they’re called. and—and i’ve got thin eyebrows. nothing like how they could be, i mean, should be. my eyes are just so boring and brown. i’ve got craters in my face that people call dimples, and worst of all, dark freckles.”or, richie is extremely insecure. eddie's heart breaks.





	i'll give you my best side (tell you all my best lies)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm Sorry i'm just gay nd emo nd i feel like eddie thinks the sun shines outta richie's ass

Richie Tozier was absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. From hair that loosely fell in waves, to her light pink tinted cheeks and chiseled cheekbones. She had long eyelashes that casted shadows when the light shined just right. 

Her freckles, too. Dusted over the high points of her face and the tip of her nose, were prominent freckles. Now more than ever because her and her friends spent so much time out in the sun.

Anyone could see this, everyone envied the beauty that radiates off of her.

Richie looked in the mirror of her bathroom, wiping her face makeup off for the day, revealing old acne spots and the dark freckles that she loathed. Her eyebrows were sparse, she had to fill them in to think anything positive about them. The girl looked down at the cloth in her hand, covered in splotches and arrays of different colors—dark brown from her eyebrow pomade, a cream color from her extremely full coverage foundation. Black spots from mascara, and a sticky glimmer from her clear lipgloss. 

Richie Tozier hated herself.

 

—

 

The first time Eddie notices something is up is when Richie has been washing her face for a solid 45 minutes, not making a sound.

She walks into the bathroom filled with curiosity, noticing that Richie is staring at the mirror, running her fingers over the high tops of her cheekbones and down her jawline.

“Admiring yourself?” Eddie asks, amused. It’s when the girl turns her head down in embarrassment without a smartass reply that Eddie gets worried.

“Hey…,” Eddie trails off, walking up to her and softly touching the side of Richie’s face, urging her to look up. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Richie reluctantly meets her warm, brown eyes. “It’s nothing Eds, don’t worry.”

“Don’t tell me not to worry,” Eddie jokingly pouts, cupping Richie’s face in her hands. Richie was usually the more, for lack of a better word, dominant one in their relationship. She was always the girlfriend doing these things for Eddie, making her feel better with jokes and sweet comments. Eddie didn’t know what to do with this sudden change, but she’d try her best.

“I love you Rich,” Richie’s stressed frown upturned slightly, eyes fluttering shut. “Seriously! So much.”

Eddie stood on the tips of her toes and gave Richie a kiss. 

“You—Richie—You trust me, right?”

Eddie couldn’t help it, her own insecurity crept through into the conversation. She ran one of her hands through her girlfriend’s hair, trying to make her question laced with a confession seem lighter.

“Love, of course I do,” Richie feels guilty that she had Eddie doubt her. If a heart could literally break, Richie’s would’ve by now.

Eddie sigh in relief. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on yet obviously. Just know I’ll always,” she pokes the spot where Richie’s dimple should appear, and it does at the notion. Eddie grins before continuing. “Always be here and care for you. You’re...my start and my end, you know that right?”

Richie nods. “Yeah, I know. You’re my moon and my stars, Eds.”

The two of them head off to bed silently. Eddie doesn’t press the matter, but it nags at the back of her head. She wonders if Richie wants to leave her. 

Eddie has insecurities too, less about herself and the way she appears. Moreso about Richie finding someone better, someone more. A girl who doesn’t have to carry six types of hand sanitizer everywhere, maybe a girl who doesn’t seek her mother’s approval.

She tries not to think about it as much as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend, falling asleep to the rise and fall of Richie’s chest.

 

—

 

The next time Eddie gets concerned about her girlfriend is when they’re at Ben’s house, all getting dressed to swim. Richie was standing in Ben’s bathroom, back to Eddie as Eddie changed. 

Richie, however, just typed away on her phone instead of getting dressed. 

Eddie turned to her girlfriend once she finished getting everything on, “Rich, can you tie this for me?” She turned, a thoughtful look on her face. Richie didn’t respond, but followed through and did the favor for Eddie. 

“Richie, why aren’t you dressed?” Eddie asks curiously.

She shrugs. “M’Not in the mood to swim.”

“But babe, we planned this a couple weeks ago. You were all on board with it then, what changed?” Eddie asks. “It’s scalding outside, you’ll burn.”

She shrugs again. “I. I don’t want my makeup to wash off,” Richie finally admits, sheepishly.

Eddie laughs softly, assuming Richie was joking. “What? It’s just makeup.”

Richie’s face falls. Eddie can see the cogs in her head turning and the walls going up around her defensively to protect herself. Eddie’s never seen “It’s dumb. I’m dumb. I have to go.”

While walking out of the bathroom, Eddie grips Richie’s hand gently, catching her before she goes. “Richie, wait.”

“Eds, just. Give me some space.”

 

—

 

When Eddie figures out what’s wrong a day later, a lump forms in her throat. She connected the dots. The girl can’t seem to figure out why Richie would ever feel this way, how she could ever dislike herself when she was an enigma all on her own. 

Eddie saw Richie in the best way. Saw her in the brightest light, she was her start and end, her moon and stars. Richie Tozier meant the entire world to Eddie, nobody would ever compare.

She shows up at Richie’s house with hope and nerves bubbling in her chest. Letting herself in with the spare key, she walks up to Richie’s room and knocks on the door.

Richie opens the door, a frown on her face and creases between her furrowed brows. Her makeup is off, but she looks ashamed.

“Baby…,” Eddie trails off. Richie opens her arms for a hug and Eddie eagerly receives it. Richie buries her head into her girlfriend’s neck.

“I love you so much. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, no one could compare,” Eddie whispers.

She shuts the door behind them when they pull away from the hug, walking over to sit on Richie’s bed together.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong now?” Eddie already knew, but she could see that what her girlfriend needed was to get everything off of her chest.

“The, um, blackheads on my nose. I have acne scars on my cheeks that can only be covered by concealer, and my hair is dry and too wavy. I have to straighten it to look nice,” Richie rambles. “I’ve got pale skin, really pale skin, and my nose has a bump right in the middle. I think it’s that European descent thing.”

“Richie—,”

She continues, “—My teeth are crooked, and they’re not as white as they could be. The top two are buck teeth, right? That’s what they’re called. And—And I’ve got thin eyebrows. Nothing like how they could be, I mean, should be. My eyes are just so boring and brown. I’ve got craters in my face that people call dimples, and worst of all, dark freckles.”

By the end of it, Eddie wants to cry. She wonders how Richie couldn’t see what she sees.

“Rich…,” she tries, not even knowing where to start. It’s obvious that this is a deep rooted issue for her girlfriend, and it couldn’t be fixed overnight.

“I know, I’m sorry. This is so stupid, I just. I hate it so much.”

“Babe, I know this isn’t easy. We’ve all got insecurities. Just try and think positively about some of those traits, right?”

Richie stares at her confused.

“Let’s start with the freckles. Bev has freckles; what do you think of her’s?” Eddie asks.

Richie, without hesitation, responds, “She’s beautiful, her freckles are so cute. They compliment her.”

“Right! Exactly. What’s so wrong about yours now?”

“Um. Someone used to say my face looked dirty, and it just kind of stuck.”

Eddie cups her face, running her thumbs lightly over the tips of her cheekbones where the spots were dusted. “Beautiful,” she whispers.

Richie shies away from the touch, cheeks tinted pink but she’s frowning. “How about...Your pale skin.”

“What about it?” Richie asks sadly.

“Richie, if I’m telling you the truth. You glow. Your skin is soft and pale but especially in moon lighting, you shine and glow and it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time. Fuck,” Eddie says, just thinking about her girl and the time they all went camping together. The way Richie looked, illuminated in the light from the fireplace. How she looked swimming in the lake at night, the moon and stars shining down on her. Eyes twinkling.

“And—God, Richie, your eyes. Don’t even get me started. They’re so simple, right? But so inviting and warm and you make me feel at home every time you look at me,” Eddie confesses. “It’s like, we’re out in public, and we make eye contact from across the room. It’s just us, then. You make me feel at home.”

Richie feels pride swell in her chest at her girlfriend’s words. She didn’t believe everything that Eddie was saying, but it sure did make her feel loved, and that was the important part. 

Eddie covered each and every insecurity, words effortlessly spilling from her lips and engulfing Richie into comfort.

“I think you look beautiful. You don’t have to believe me now, or in a month, or even a year. But eventually, I hope you will.”

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer i do Not think that like. people can fix you or anything but i definitely think that friends/significant others that are Positive can help boost confidence and such so . thx for coming to my ted talk


End file.
